Southern California Message Boards

I was going to register a new board name – Faucet Face, as the cold/flu I have is beyond belief in its production abilities. I feel like crap and after reading this, I still want to grab the ‘red and saucy’ and pump her springs.

We woke up at the Ritz Carlton on Saturday morning, and headed on over to the Charthouse for a little brunch. Then it was on to SOUTH MOUNTAIN. We pulled into the parking area, filled with cars, but not that many bike racks. Weird. I was excited to see that my 2 riding mates had opted for some baggy shorts instead of their standard 1 piece racing leotard. "You guys wear tights? No, we don't wear tights, we wear the required uniform. Yeah, tights!" Onto the bikes I quickly noticed that Nick doesn't even bother with a small ring on his cranks, "Great!", I thought silently. We hit the fire road into the interior of the area and Matt gave us a quick run down on the park and how it was run by the city, and how EVERY SINGLE TRAIL IN THE ENTIRE PARK WAS MULIT-USE. Wow.

Onward to the climb up Mormom trail, then up on National, Nick making quick work of some freakishly steep climbs. Hikers everywhere, all super cool, and then we came to the Waterfall section. This is a section that has had more pictures taken of it and posted on mtbr.com then any other section in the world. I was under the impression that it had to be nearly impossible to get down, but I was mistaken. We got to the top, and scoped out all the options, about 5 ways down, we rode the spine and the rider's far left line.

We continued with our climb up National to Buena Vista, and eventually to the top of Telegraph Pass trail. Matt warned us that we COULD die on this trail, and to get ready. I was having trouble seeing the trail since it was COVERED with hikers. One good sign was watching many of the hikers below fall on their way down. -Insert sound clip of chops being licked here- Some hikers at the top wished us luck, but I knew they were staying at the viewpoint so they could watch us plummet to our demise. Here we go... I started in and the rock drops were moderate, and then bigger, and more twisted, and tighter, and steeper. It was very hard to negotiate these sections while smiling and saying "Hi!" to 50 hikers. Then I heard a "thud" so I stopped, it was Matt taking a little dirt nap a couple sections above. He brushed off and we continued. A mile or so later it flattens out and I look back at this monster and think "That's multi-use? God bless Arizona." This trail left us in a void in the park so we hiked back up this steep bee-eye-itch, and traversed our way over to the Holbert trail.

Holbert drops off the opposite side of the range from Telegraph, and basically, this is the best trail I've ridden in a long time. Very rythmic sections, big stunts, off camber slots, the whole nine. After I would finish a hairy spot I kept thinking, "sweet, stop here and watch these little men on their little bikes pile up!" Boy was I in for a weekend of disappointment. They were always right behind me, slicing up the trail, smiling with all their teeth firmly in place. Damn...


After Holbert we decided to go back up to the top via a nice 7 mile road grind. There's nothing I like better than a road climb on 2.5 tires. However, Matt had hooked me up with my first shot EVER of Hammergel, and the rest is history. Back at Buena Vista we dropped in on a little hidden gem called Corona Loma. This one gives a very remote feel, in and out of a canyon, then down the backside with some nice loose rock sections and tight turns. This dumps us onto the Desert Classic trail which we rode out to our car to finish our 45 mile ride. Who in the hell do I think I am riding 45 miles in one day?

Then it was onto to Tempe for a little dinner, then back to the Ritz asleep by 8 o'clock. Sunday we woke up, more fine dining, up Mormom, up National to Buena Vista, down Holbert, then hiked up on the lower section of Mormom, which looks to be as tasty as the other drops, down National, then down on Ridgeline to the car.

People, all of you need to go to South Mountain and experience the bliss of a properly run multi-use park. No angry faces, no cruel remarks, nothing! Just dozens of crazy trails for all levels of riders. Matt and Nick, thank you for a great weekend of rides, you've made me realize that my middle ring isn't just there for looks, it can actually be used!

Good luck to you.

Once again, I live vicariously thru Dusty and pals...

If I can just keep my body in 1 piece until my kids are old enough to tackle serious mtb terrain, then these kind of adventures could become "family vacations."

Scary thought...

Nice pics pumpkin!

In all seriousness, you guys are not human, you're a bunch of mutants!